4: Rise of the Silver Surfer ~ not one to add to the Netflix queue until February
Today feels like an alien surfer day.
Forced plane movies are worth watching about half the time when you can get one. I was surprised on my way to Dallas on Friday to see Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer, which I never had a chance to see in a theater despite feeling compelled to for the Rapidsea cause.
Ultimately, the Silver Surfer character, which was introduced in the 60s, was one of the first mainstream comic/cartoon characters to take on a sporty beach persona. The alien connection, of course, adds to the character layers.
Fast forward to the 00s, and you get a fairly dumbed down movie version that relies more on its special effects, which are pretty good, than on a storyline. The thing that turned me off most from the movie was not the sleek and spiffy alien surfer guy who lost the love of his life back on his home planet (unlike EARTHworms, male/female relationships obviously exist in outer space). Who could hate a metallic surfer with Laurence Fishburn’s voice? What was really terrible was the underlying plot of moody marriage between half the heroes: i.e., Reed Richards and Sue Storm.
The movie starts with Reed and Sue’s wedding, which gets interrupted by their calling to stop an impending force of doom. The wedding takes place on a roof, so at a minimum, they did not violate the Rapidsea treaty by trying to push a beach destination wedding. But it is here that the characters reveal that they’ve been drug through the "usual machine."
Jessica Alba’s Sue character is almost as annoying as a Bridezilla. Ioan Gruffudd’s Reed character is the nerd-turned-mega-rich-star who takes on the high school football captain general. Blah blah. Tired tired. Chris Evans’s Johnny Storm character is revealed along the way under the womanizing facade, but doesn’t really evolve. Does his shirtless towel scene make up for it? I’ll leave that up to you.
The move feels like it is over before it is started and lacked any real build up of tension or any resolve. Last page synopsis: "Oh, Jessica Alba makes the surfer man realize he’s not evil? Movie over. Back to MY wedding." And back to her screen printed penguin panties.
The most interesting part of the storyline for me is that the surfboard acts as both a lighthouse-like beacon guiding the evil consumptive force to earth AND as a medium to transport the surfer guide. So whereas you have a lighthouse that acts as a medium to take you to a utopia in the game Bioshock, the role is switched and you have the medium acting as a beacon.
That’s about as far as my interest took me. I ran to the lavatory while the rest of the plane was smiling over how beautiful the married couple was. At least I think that’s what happened. On the way back, there was no movie to report on. All I got was a lap full of Coca Cola, a gift from the clumsy flight attendant.
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