Bling h2O

20071223-Bling-H2O

Here’s a quote for you from Kevin G. Boyd (Hollywood writer-producer): "…you could tell a lot about a person by the bottled water they carried.  In Hollywood it seemed as if people flaunted their bottled water like it was part of their presentation. Whether the bottles had a cool shape or came from an exotic island, none truly made that defining statement."

Water from an exotic island doesn’t define me appropriately?  Oh no!

Enter Bling h2O.  It’s water from Dandridge, Tennessee (far from Tahiti — not that islands necessarily have the purest or most abundant supplies of water) that has been filtered a bazillion times and then placed into a corked bottle with "handcrafted Swarovkski Crystals" on the bottle.

The fact alone that they have to tell you on their website that this is "couture water" makes the product a total losers’ paradise.  Saying that it’s "the Cristal of bottled water" is on the verge of offensive, kind of like telling people at Stanford that they attend the "Harvard of the West."

People know what is high end and what isn’t.  You introduce your product quietly, so that people have to be in the know to discover it.  This product sucks H 2X O so much.

You are a flake (and not a pristine glacial water snowflake) if you buy this water, especially at $40 for 750ml.  If my math is not wrong here, I think that probably adds up to about $200 a gallon, which is more than the $179 per gallon for the crazy Zrii juice.

And how lame to try to push it at a time when everyone is railing against bottled water.  At least they say that the bottle is reusable, but then you’ll never know if people just filled theirs with Volvic on the way to work.  Make sure to watch them pull the cork before you sip from their bottle.  You wouldn’t want to get contaminated with Evian.

Then there’s the oh so it-word "bling."  I’ll just end the suffering now by saying that tap water still "rules."

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Posted on December 23, 2007
Filed Under Food and Drink, Gossip, Hollywood, Islands | Leave a Comment

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